11 Principles for Handling Parental Alienation

In “Beyond the High Road: Responding to 17 Parental Alienation Strategies
without Compromising Your Morals or Harming Your Child”, a paper published in 2008, Dr. Amy Baker and LCSW Paul R. Fine have very practical advice for alienating parents.

The paper discusses how alienated parents often feel helpless and disempowered because of the way they believe they must behave. Thinking they must take “the high road”, alienated parents often feel like they have to walk on eggshells and cannot do anything to address the alienating behaviors. The paper discusses how parents can assess their situation, then apply 11 principles to address 17 alienating strategies that the alienators often use on the children.

Here are the 11 principles that are recommended:

  1. Be Attuned to the Developmental Level of Each Child
  2. Be Attuned to the Unique Qualities of Each Child
  3. Be Attuned to the Unique Qualities of the Alienating Parent
  4. Be Clear About Your Goals and Motives
  5. Have Empathy for Your Child
  6. Be the Best Parent You Can Be
  7. Do Not Take the Bait
  8. Pick Your Battles
  9. Do Not Take it Personally
  10. Follow Your Parenting Plan Even if the Other Parent Does Not
  11. Get Support

The full paper can be downloaded here.

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