That’s What Mommies Do

by Jen Bridges

Below is a submission to the Hero Song Project, a campaign where musical artists who will pick from writings submitted by alienated parents and children to compose the music and perform the songs to bring public awareness of parental alienation.

The words are lost as I try to express

A feeling of guilt, a wave of regret

I should have, I could have, I didn’t, I did

Somehow I caused this grief we live in

You were so young, I thought I chose right

I was so scared, still

I took on the fight

I lost, now I bleed, no healing in sight

What words can I say to try and explain?

What can I do to take away all your pain?

The tears you cry when you miss me at night are the same tears

I cry because I didn’t know how to fight

Each first, each last, I’ve missed it all

I begged and pleaded yet I get no call

I never left you, abandoned you, I didn’t give up

I have to rest from being so beaten up

Inside there are scars you’ll never see

Made by someone I hope you’ll never be

They thought they were better somehow than me

Instead you cry out – cry out to love me

Told by others I did you harm

Convinced by others I was wrong

One rejected my love but one held on – he knew the truth, a conviction so strong

A conviction concluded when his world crashed down

A conviction concluded when I stood strong

All of my power, my brains, cannot undo – the tragedy that occurred by keeping me from you

Three hearts were torn, mangled and strewn – just so one person could say they own you

When I wake, when I lay, when I work –

There is no play-

Just thoughts of you, what you’re doing, how is your day?

I never meant for life to be this way!

Yet I’m here holding pieces, broken and sharp, all out of place, all piercing our hearts

I hope you’ll forgive me for my faults and scattered dreams

I hope you’ll forgive them for pretending to seem

Like the only ones who can care and love you the best – like loving me would make you a mess

See, it’s okay to be torn and confused – your pain is mirrored, I feel it too!

No matter where you are, what you say, what you do

I’ll love you forever, that’s what mommies do

Until that time when things are clear – when the fog is lifted and you can breathe fresh air

Don’t forget when I held you while you lay asleep

Don’t forget when I helped you brush your teeth

Don’t forget that people are just like you

Don’t forget you are special and the world needs you

Don’t forget who I am and who I’ve taught you to be

Don’t forget there are people, your kindness they need

Don’t forget to live and laugh and play

And when you are hurt, forgive right away

And when you are ready and able to understand

I’ll be here waiting with an outstretched hand

My love runs deep like roots of a tree

No matter how the wind blows, it won’t uproot me

The seasons will change, it’ll rain, it’ll snow

The sun will set and the stars will show

No matter where you are, what you say, what you do,

I’ll love you forever – that’s what mommies do